My Doorways, My Self

I didn’t expect to be addressed by the Lord of Obstacles, and yet I can’t say I was wholly surprised by it, either.

Here’s how it went: my son became interested in Ganesha when we went to an exhibit of sacred art at the Smithsonian, and so we purchased a figurine for him, along with a book containing some of his myths.  When his interest waned, he gave both the figurine and the book to me, and I made a place for Ganesha to reside near representations of my other gods…and aside from an occasional offering or prayer, that was it.

And then, I had the dream, and I changed.  And, Ganesha was in my life in a more active way.  And, while it made sense, I was still surprised because I am Kemetic, and I’d expected that Wepwawet would help me through any doorways I encountered, or past any liminal obstacles I faced.  Silly human.

The gods move as they will, after all.

One of the things I’ve come to realize about the doorways I encounter is that I’ve built most of them myself.  I’m not sure if I put them up to wall myself away from things I’d rather not know, or to stop myself from getting stuck, or why exactly they are there in the first place, but I know I placed them in my way and somehow made them incredibly difficult to open.  I know that when Ganesha opens a door so I can pass through, he’s really helping me unlock a piece of myself, and then I start to wonder about the connections between liminal work, and doorways, and monster work.

There are all these pieces of myself in various places, and I’m continually having to get to them, collect them, categorize them, and then deal with them, just as I do with my monsters.  Hell, some of my doorways have monsters behind them!  And yet, I don’t invoke Ganesha to help me deal with my monsters – his job is to help me through the doorway, or past the obstacle, and then whatever I find is mine to handle.  Judging from what I’ve read/heard, this isn’t uncommon, but I’d really love to hear from others about similar or dissimilar experiences.

My doorways, like my monsters, are yet another part of the puzzle that makes up my self.  I guess it’s too bad that this realization doesn’t really make things easier, isn’t it?

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2 responses to “My Doorways, My Self

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