My default position on discussion of my spirituality is silence…which is funny when you consider I’ve got this blog thingy, and I’m active on a pagan forum, and I’ve been known to attend a conference or two. I wouldn’t say I’m in the broom closet so much as actively participating in the pagan equivalent of Need to Know; most people don’t need to know, so I don’t tell them.
This goes against my belief in providing information to people, although I split hairs a little bit by saying that I give information when asked for it – even though people who know me also know that I love to tell people about things. I get excited about sharing information with others, and learning from them as they (maybe?) learn something from me. My brain is also the equivalent of the Room of Requirement – it is full of stuff, some of it not remembered until I shine a flashlight on it, and mostly useful for winning Trivial Pursuit. I have a little bit of knowledge on a lot of topics, and in-depth knowledge on some. I usually say I know just enough about a number of things to get myself in trouble.
(This is why IT hates it when I call them, by the way.)
So, my natural state is to reveal little while smiling and nodding and encouraging others to continue. Unfortunately, the more involved I get in the pagan community at large (is there such a thing?), the less value my natural state seems to have and the more I realize that some translucence, if not transparency, might be helpful. The problem I bump into with this realization is that…I don’t really know what to share. And so I come back to this blog, and look at the topics I’ve chosen for Pagan Blog Project this year (and last)…and I’m all over the fucking place, aren’t I?
(I’m also using way more words than I probably should for this topic. This is going to be one of those posts. I can just tell. *goes to check the Musings box*)
To clear things up a little (pun intended), I typically pick my topics for this blog by writing about whatever pops into my head and, for Pagan Blog Project, this means random words in some sort of alphabetical order. It amazes me how often they seem to be relevant. I mean, opacity? Really? And yet, the idea of what we share and what we don’t fits in nicely from a FlameKeeping perspective – how open am I? How open should I be? When should information be shared, and when should it be held back? Why do I cringe when I see the word ‘oathbound’?
I have no answers for any of this, honestly, but maybe I’ve started some wheels turning?