Sometimes, I think this whole idea of blogging about my religious path is a joke. Very few people in my real life get it… and I know that’s not the point, really, but it still feels weird. Here I have a place where I can pour out my soul and let people know who I really am and what I really think about and, except for my husband, none of my family read it.
My mother would have a stroke if she knew. My father would be interested, but only from an academic standpoint ( he’s a frustrated archaeologist). My brothers: one would use it as a poker chip in the battle against my mother, and the other would go “that’s nice,” and continue on his merry way. My extended family, well, really the less they know about me the better.
So, instead, I pour out my heart and soul to strangers on the internet…just because I need to say something. I can’t not talk about it, because to do that is not to share the information I have…which goes against everything FlameKeeping stands for.
(Don’t think I’ve missed the fact that not sharing information with my family also goes against what FlameKeeping stands for. It’s complicated, and I’m human, and I’m not quite ready to face potential rejection from those tied to me by blood.)
I do hope that what I write makes a difference to someone besides me, but that’s not why I write in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have, but I’d write about these things even if no one read this blog. Traffic is so not the point. Its funny, but once someone justified dragging me through the mud online by saying my site traffic would go up. Clearly that person didn’t really know me.
(Perhaps they’re a long-lost member of my family?)
As a FlameKeeper, I have a duty to share what I’ve learned, be it exciting triumph or dismal failure. I do this through this blog: I share my light bulb moments and the times I get smacked in the head with a clue-by-four. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if anyone reads the information. The fact that I’ve put it out there at all in a forum that’s available to anyone is the point.
Now, I know there are people out there who read what I write, because you leave me comments, and feedback, and likes. But really, I’d give up all your feedback for the chance to make someone really think.
After all, isn’t that what we’re here to do?