Endings

We are all Divine.  As we go forward in life, our every action affects the Universe through the connections our Divinity includes.  This is why FlameKeepers strive always to act with intent to improve; actions have consequences and it is our responsibility to be aware of them and, when necessary, own up to them.

It seems easy enough to keep the above in mind when starting something new – you can take a look at what you want to do, and what you want the outcome to be, and what potential pitfalls could arise, and then move forward.  Trying to insert it into something already in progress is trickier but not impossible – you can look at what has gone on to date and make the choice to modify things that aren’t in line with your goal.  Looking at ending with intent to improve, however, is a different ballgame altogether.

Endings are as important as beginnings but aren’t usually handled as well.  Hell, many of the break-ups I’ve had in my life (and you’ve probably had, too) have been EPIC ENDING FAILURES.  Look to the people who end a relationship with someone else by email, or TEXT, and you can see what I mean – there appears to be little thought beyond “It is time for this thing to be over!”  But a bad ending has just as many consequences as a bad beginning and so often people are focused on the fact that the thing is ending to the exclusion of even asking themselves how they want the thing to end.

I’ll give some examples from my own life, so you can see what I mean:

  • Next month, my hours at work are being cut from full-time (160+ hours/month) to part time (80 hours/month).  Along with this will come a decrease in the number of projects I am supporting – I’ll go from approximately ten studies down to two.  The other eight will no longer have my support and so I’m currently working to make sure everything is in order before I have to stop working with them.  I want to ensure that all documentation is filed, that all training sessions have been submitted to our Learning Management System (LMS), and that all technical issues with our systems have been resolved.  I could just stop working on them at the end of the month, since that’s what my contract says I should do, but that would make a bad ending.
  • My maternal grandmother and I were extremely close while I was growing up and my son was lucky enough to have a very close relationship with her as well – she died in 2008 when he was 15.  Prior to her passing, she was very frail and ill with dementia, which meant that she often didn’t recognize family members when we went to visit her.  Seeing her like this was extremely painful and so some of my family chose to see her only on occasions when the entire group of us would visit (major holidays, her birthday, etc.).  Others of us (my parents and me, in particular) spent as much time as we could with her during her decline and it became sort of an extended grieving process.  When she finally passed, we were there with her, holding her hands, and the fact that we’d prepared for so long (2+ years) made it less of a painful process and more of an easing into the next stage of life without her.

Endings can be painful, ecstatic, happy, or sad…and they are as important as any other stage of action.  They deserve to be treated with the same intent and thought that we put into the other time-points we come across.

Prompts:

  1. Are you good at endings?  Why or why not?
  2. What do you do to improve your endings?
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One response to “Endings

  1. 1. Are you good at endings? Why or why not?
    Not always. When I’m angry I tend to just walk away from things without a word. Most recent example: my art class. They charge $5 a class to cover materials, but all their paint is either rock hard or nearly rock hard. They think that I should use it so it doesn’t go to waste. I feel so angry and ripped off that I just stopped showing up.

    2. What do you do to improve your endings?
    For things I’m not really pissed off about; some things need to happen, or they’re going to happen regardless of what I do, it’s a lot easier on me if I take an accepting attitude toward them. Sometimes family members stop talking to other family members. They have their own good reasons for that. I *could* freak out about how they’re tearing the family apart, but that isn’t fair. Instead I accept that they’re doing what they need to do for their well-being. Besides, sometimes I need to do the same thing. 😉

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